Being Absent while you're Really Present

Sometimes I'm absent while I'm really present! 

I know that sounds strange, but it's the truth.  I'm in the same room as my children, but I'm not really there. I am that Mom who is too busy on my phone checking out what the rest of the world is doing, or I'm having a conversation with another person, or I'm reading a paper that came home from school or in the mail, or I'm in deep thought about the stresses that life throws at me, or I'm working on one of my may projects that I take on, or I'm simply just ignoring them because sometimes that's what I have to do to keep myself sane! Whatever it may be, nothing, and I repeat NOTHING is more important then the three little gifts that God gave me. 

Therefore, after a week from hell with too much juggling and not enough loving, I reflected on my actions and I vowed to change a cycle that was quickly turning into a nasty habit. 

So, today after school we went to the Aquarium. I stood back as they explored the beauty of the sea. I listened to their ooh's and aah's, I traveled at their pace, I answered questions even if it took me reading the entire wall of statistics, and I took time to explore an area that we've passed so many times without even realizing it. And, today taught me that being PRESENT is where I want to be. I know that every day can't be like today, that there will be times that I have to be absent while present to multi-task and get the job done, but at least I can try and make those times few and far between. 

I can give my undivided self to my children most of the time, because after all they deserve it ALL the time! 

Like Mother...Like Daughter

It's such an odd feeling when you look at your child and see yourself. And, I don't really get this feeling a lot, even though everyone tells me they think Giulietta looks like my Mini Me. However, when I look at these picture of Giulietta, it is so easy to see myself through her. 

Maybe it's because 25 years ago I was standing on that same field holding a ball under my arm, or simply because I'm pretty sure I have dreamed these moments several times before. Regardless, my girl, these pictures, this soccer season...ALL of it make my heart smile!  

Giving Back...My Brother Needs Some Help

Dear Friends & Family, 

My amazing brother, Kenny Hardy, is on a mission to save kids and he needs YOUR help. Our local Children's Miracle Network Hospital treats thousands of children each year, regardless of their family's ability pay. These kids are facing scary stuff like cancer, cystic fibrosis, and injuries from accidents, to name just a few.

On October 25, 2014, Kenny will be participating in a HUGE worldwide celebration of the social impact of gamers of all kinds. He will be playing games (video games, board games, and tabletop RPG's) for 24 hours to help raise awareness and show his support for the children in our community. It's my sincere hope that you'll find it in you heart to support my brothers efforts with a monthly pledge or a one-time gift that will go directly to his hospital of choice.

Your generous donation is tax-deductible and ALL PROCEEDS go to help kids.  Please make a safe, easy donation online today using the link below. 

http://www.extra-life.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=99852

Thanks!

A Very Proud Sister

Happy Birthday Baby!!

It's been a year since I got my first peak at your sweet little face. counted all your tiny fingers and toes. and kissed you for the first time. It's been a year since I handed you to your Daddy & saw his heart fill with love and pride as he was introduced to his son. It's been a year since I  whispered your name into your ear for the very first time, and saw your eyes open wide with wonder. It's been a year since I showed you off to your adoring Big Sisters, and watched them love on you like you were their own personal doll. It's been a year since I first held you in my arms as tears of love slid down my face. 

And, from that minute I first held you, I knew I loved you! 

You are a one of a kind boy. You light up every room you enter with your charming smile and frowny eyebrows. You have a personality packed full of charisma that allows you to exude a gentle, yet wild way. You are graced with a head full of wild hair that will hopefully never be tamed, and deep blue eyes that light up with excitement for the world around you. You have a curious side to you that allows you to show off you love for being dirty, making messes, and getting into everything that you shouldn't be. You have a contagious laugh that you let out with a belly full of air and heart full of love. You have a passion for giving hugs and delivering wide open mouth kisses right on the lips. 

And, you make everyday an adventure as you continue to climb your way through your one wild and crazy life with your tender heart as your guide. 

Happy 1st Birthday my sweet Holden Enzo!

I love you from the bottom of my heart! 

Long Eyelashes, Pouty Lips & Blonde Hair

How is it possible that my Sweet Baby Boy will turn ONE in less then a month?  It really feels like just yesterday that I found out that I was pregnant with him, but then again he has filled a missing piece of our home & hearts so perfectly that it also feels like he has been around forever.

With each passing day I watch my baby turn into a toddler and as bittersweet as it is, it makes me yearn for the time not long ago that he was so small. Multiple times a day I find myself just staring at my little prince in complete admiration, and I think how...

I love the way he smiles when he sees his sisters each morning.
My favorite place to kiss him is the soft part right above his nose and in between his eyes.
He gets overly excited when he sees any animal and flaps his arms like a bird.
I am constantly chasing him around wherever we are taking things out of his hands or mouth.
Everyone complements him on his AWESOME hair & I'm sure that will never end.
I thought I had everything figured out about raising a baby until I had him.
He looks at me just like my dad does, and it makes me smile and thank genetics.
I never thought he would say Momma, but now whenever he does my heart flutters.
We joke about him being Albino, but I really think deep inside he just might be.

and...

He LOVES me more then anyone else, and it makes me feel like the most important person in the world. I know I'm the Queen of his castle, and that my importance in his life will probably never change.

Holden Enzo is the definition of a Momma's Boy, and we are both really okay with it!

Lucky Number 7!!

It was seven years ago today that I said "I do" to my best friend! 

Throughout the last seven years we have had our ups, downs, and in-betweens. We've built a home, filled it with love, and brought three beautiful children into it. We've laughed till our stomachs hurt, cried tears of sorrow and joy, and loved each other more and more with each passing day.

I couldn't imagine my life without you by my side, nor would I want any other person on this planet to share my breathes with. You work tirelessly, sacrifice continuously, and love unconditionally. You've taught me so much about myself, how to live, and why it's important to relax and enjoy life. 

You are my ROCK that I lean on, turn to in times of need,  and look for at the end of the day! You complement me perfectly, fix the problems that I can't seem to find the answers to, drive me crazy beyond my wildest dreams, and fill the holes in my heart with love, patience, and understanding. 

I love you Ryan Morad more then words can express, or actions can show. I am so very thankful to have been your bride on this very day seven years ago, and to continue to be called your wife. My heart flutters with excitement thinking about all the years we have ahead of us in our one wild and crazy life. 

XO,  Katie 

Taking a Bite out of Watermelon

Teeth!! What is it about losing them, that gets me all choked up? Perhaps it's the fact that I so vividly remember each and everyone that poked through her tender pink gums or the fact that she now has the typical "little girl" toothless speech impediment going on. Whatever it is, it makes me realize that the days of her infancy and toddlerhood are all over!

My first born is a little girl.
A little girl that lost her 2nd tooth in a piece of Watermelon at Acting Camp yesterday.
A little girl who has a passion for turning white paper into a colorful masterpiece.
A little girl that is learning to read, write, and question the world around her!
A little girl who needs me less and less with each passing day.

(Giulietta wanted to show Nana & Fafa her tooth, and they were out of town. So, she wrote this special note to the tooth fairy asking her to leave her tooth one extra night that way she could show it off!) 

Well...Hello there 30!

Today's my Birthday! My 30th Birthday to be exact. I know it sounds selfish to say that I'm a bit peeved that I had to share MY day this year with Jesus and the Easter Bunny, but I'm not going to lie. Sharing this year was a little more difficult then every other year when my birthday has fallen on Hitler's Birthday, the anniversary of Columbine, and 420! I suppose this is how my kids must feel when friends come over and they have to unwillingly share their favorite toys with our guests. And seeing how they have learned to do it with ease, I guess I should to because the Hubster has reassured me that this won't be the LAST time that my birthday will be celebrated on Easter! 

Regardless of the day, my Birthday this year was Great! I have been celebrated the past few weeks by my friends and family over several different occasions focused around making me feel special and loved as I approached my 30th year. It started with a surprise trip with just the Hubster and I to Solvang, followed by dinner & "The Book of Mormon," a lovely ladies night out at Maggiano's, a special family/friend pizza & ice cream bar put on by my parents, and today which was a hodge podge of Easter/Birthday celebrations! Everyone that knows me, really knows me, totally gets the fact that I LOVE to be celebrated, made the center of attention for a few hours or days, and infused with the feelings of being special and loved by those that mean the most to me. And, this year, all those around me have really done good, well spectacular actually! So, thank you! 

As I sit here and think about being 30, and what that means to me, so much is buzzing around in my brain. I suppose I should start with saying Goodbye to my 20's. For so many the 20's is a time to sew their wild oats, explore the world around them, find their "true" self, and then make a conscious effort to be a "grown-up." I  have never been "typical" when it comes to this growing up stuff. I've always been a little too mature for my peer group, a little too serious about life, a little more interested in finding who I was earlier rather then later and then acting upon it! So, like my usual self, I grabbed life by the horns and kept on riding the path of my 20's at a pace that even I found a little too fast at times! 

My 20's were filled with many milestones reached, many i's dotted and t's crossed, and many bucket list items crossed off! I graduated from college twice, got married to my best friend, had three beautiful children, bought a house (sorta), started a career (teaching) then put it on a hold for another (motherhood), learned how therapeutic and necessary therapy or simply talking to someone can actually be, traveled to several countries and across the US, bought my first & only brand new car that to this day makes me feel more alive then anything else, found my voice in writing and documenting my families lives, became a social media addict, learned how to be a really good friend, found a passion in sewing, crafting, and photography, and smiled, laughed and loved until my heart couldn't see straight! 

As lovely as my 20's were, there was a lot of learning, growing and hard work that took place. A lot of finding who I was and who I wanted to be that took some serious soul searching! I lost...some friends (or who I thought were friends rather), tears, my only living grandparent and then 2 of my husbands, my unborn child, and myself at times. My 20's were marked by challenges that many don't face until they are older or never really, and they shook me to the core and made me question ME! 

But, today I'm 30! It sounds so much older, wiser, and grown-up! Truth be told, I don't feel much different today then I felt yesterday! And, I certainly don't look much different, although today I did apply concealer on my gray bags under my eyes for the first time in my life! 30 is just a number! A number that tries to define who I am, and what I will accomplish this next decade. And, I guess that is one of the reasons why I've been a little nervous about turning 30. It's hard to really put into words why I feel this way, well actually it isn't, but those words are better left for a different post! Needless to say, my 20's provided so much newness, so much accomplishment, and so many life achieving goals that I feel that my 30's will just be a cruise-control, auto-pilot decade that I nestle into. Seeing how I'm not much of a nestler, this notion leaves me feeling antsy and troubled! 

Well..Hello there 30! I'm Katie Morad, nice to meet you! You make me more determined then ever to contradict these feelings about you that I have, and make you a time of adventure, a time of really digging deep within myself and becoming that woman (wife, mother, daughter, sister, & friend) that I am working hard to be, a time that I will look back on and have some of my fondest memories of! I am aware that you might present some hurdles that I won't necessarily enjoy jumping over, some lessons that I might be resistant to learn, and some heartache that will feel brutal. But...

I will leap

I will keep an open mind

I will listen

I will continue to stay determined

I will live in the moment

I will smile, cry, and dance

I will grow

I will love like I have never loved before

I will let it go (thank you Frozen for this little beauty)

And, I will belly laugh, because friends, it is necessary and feels so damn good at times!  

(Me..4/20/2014..30 years old..photo courtesey of Marci Phee)

Holden's Baptism

We are looking forward to welcoming our sweet boy in our Church in a few short weeks!

The Tooth Fairy & Teething Necklaces

First's are a huge milestones and in our house we all take them very seriously. It's as if we roll out the red carpet with all the fanfare and fireworks and strut our stuff down it. At least, that is how I want my children to feel when they accomplish a first. I want them to know the importance of a milestone and to cherish the memory of it, because after all a first can only happen once! 

Two weeks ago, we had two firsts in our house! 

At about 5 am one morning Giulietta came running down the hallway to our bedroom with something in her hand. As I barely opened my eyes and saw her grinning with her palm out, I instantly knew what had happened. My first born lost her VERY FIRST TOOTH. I carefully placed her pearly white on my nightstand, ushered her back to bed, and waited till morning to celebrate her little gap! Now that I think about it, Giulietta lost her first tooth almost 5 years to the day that it originally poked out of her little pink gums when she was a tiny little baby, and hiding behind her baby tooth, was her BIG permanent tooth already growing in! She smiled proudly ALL DAY, I made her a tooth fairy pillow, and that night she tucked her baby tooth tightly into it. The next morning she found a crisp $2 bill (Thanks Uncle Kaka), and a special note! My big girl was over the moon, and ready for her next wiggly tooth to emerge! 

Amongst all the excitement of Giulietta losing her first tooth, Holden's first, and second, baby teeth came in. These two little gems have been a long time in the making, and I think everyone is relieved that they have finally made their debut. This boy was a tad bit more dramatic during his teething then the girls were. We tried teethers, orajel, teething tablets, wash cloths, tylenol, and an amber necklace. The first couple of days after my little dude discovered his teeth were fun watching him rub his tongue across his new fighting gear. Now, it is cute to watch him chow down on food with his new chompers. He has tested the little white fangs a few times while nursing and on my shoulder, and of course it was accompanied by a little giggle, but I think a stern "NO!" has squashed his fun, and now for the most part he just shows his handsome toothy grin. 

Being a Momma of three is so fun to sit back and watch the milestones roll along. All three of my littles have developed at their own pace, and each milestone feels just as special as the one before. However, I don't think I will ever forget this First Lost Tooth & First Gained Tooth milestone. There is something special in two of your littles sharing a commonality, but being many years apart in age! 

 

 

Sometimes WE just need to take a "Mental Health Day"

This post is almost a week over due, but right here and right now I am finally sitting down and taking the time to write it. Nothing will stop me, well maybe a hungry and tired baby boy, or one of my sleeping beauties who needs an extra hug will. But, the words of our life will be shared...eventually.



Lately, I have found that I'm too absent in my littles lives! I know this comes as a shock to all that are reading it, because I'm the least absent person you know. I'm the one that everyone can get a hold of with a simple call, text, email, or Facebook message! I'm the one that people come to when they have a quick question or real life changing one! I'm the one that is always out, about, and making memories for my children. I'm the one that so many have told me they aspire to be! But, hold tight, don't give my that award yet. Don't put me up on that high of a pedestal! Sometimes I'm not that Momma! And, sadly it seems that lately the sometimes has turned into too much of the time!



You see, because of all the hats I wear, all the relationships I work hard at maintaining, all the crafting I enjoy doing, and all the social media that I relish in, my children loose something.



They lose...



my undivided attention

my ability to just listen

my desire to play

my reaction in the moment not after

my mind free and clear

ME!



And, that's not really me, or rather the me I want to be!



So, last Wednesday we took a Mental Health Day! I pulled both girls out of school, packed everything I would need for an entire day, and headed to The Happiest Place on Earth! The choice to have the girls skip school, had me up half the night thinking about whether or not I was making the "right" decision for them, and I even made Ryan call Giulietta in "sick" to school because I didn't want to have to say the words out loud.



The day was spent thinking about NOTHING but my three. I didn't answer one call or text. I didn't check Instagram or Facebook or Email.



I gave my three ME!



I listened.

I laughed.

I played.

I hugged.

I felt the magic.

I had FUN.



And, you know what? I never felt stressed, overwhelmed, or short fused. I never raised my voice, or became grouchy; I never needed to. And, when I tucked each one of them into bed that night I silently said "thank you" to them as they closed their eyes and fell asleep the instant their tiny heads hit their comfy pillows. I thanked them for giving me life, for understanding that this Momma isn't always perfect, for allowing me the day to be reminded of what being their Momma is all about, and for unconditionally loving me for being ME.



Now I'm left reflecting and really wishing that everyday could be a Mental Health Day! That everyday I could essentially "unplug" from life as I know it and wrap myself around my three little loves pinkies. Sadly, I can't! I have to parent, I have to wife, I have to craft, I have to work, I have to be on the go making memories, I have to document our life, I have to answer texts, calls, and emails, and I have to be the dependable one for all around me. What I learned I don't have to be, is consumed by it. I don't have to put those things before my children. I don't have to make those things Me. I have to create a boundary, make mental notes about what feels right for me and us, and continue down this one wild and crazy life that I have the pleasure of living!

Will you be my Valentine??

Valentine's Day is more then a day in our house. In fact, our house has been decorated with pink & red hearts for weeks and we have been celebrating love just about as long. Well, actually we celebrate love year round, but sadly not to the same capacity. The everyday hustle and bustle holds us back from really looking at the overall picture, from really enjoying every little moment, and from really reminding ourselves that this is our only "one wild and crazy life," so we should LOVE to the fullest! 

This Valentine's Day my heart is spilling over with Love for these three Littlest, and of course my Hubster too! Each one of them is so unique, so special, and so perfect in a different way!  

My Sweet Giulietta is beautiful inside and out. Her big blue eyes shine with love, respect, and generosity. She is a quiet listener who takes in the whole picture before acting. She enjoys school, playing outside, and being a big sister! 

My Peanut Presley is a charismatic spitfire who embraces life like no one I've ever met. She is petite in size, but not heart. She is the cuddler of the bunch, and would be happy spending the day snuggled up in Momma & Daddy's bed. She is the helper, the peacekeeper, and the one who will give you the shirt of her back. 

My Baby Boy Holden is the perfect combination of his sisters. He's just too cute for words and he has the personality to back it up. He thrives on watching the world around him, and playing with his sisters. His smile is contagious, and his hearty giggle can melt any ones heart. 

My Hubster is an amazing, generous, and supportive man. He works tirelessly everyday to give us all an absolutely wonderful life, and he enjoys it. He is one of the smartest, calmest, and gentlest people I know. He may be soft spoken, but he sure knows how to express his love in his actions with our children. I'm am one lucky girl to have been able to spend half my life with such a special man! 

With that being said, I'm off to give extra Love to each one of my Littles and the Hubster too! 

Happy Valentine's Day Friends!