Friday, December 28, 2012

Turning Two is BIG!!

Two...such a small number, but such a meaningful one for this little lady!

We celebrated Presley Ella turning two on a sunny California Winter day. Many of our friends & family joined the occasion to show their love for one very special girl. Yo Gabba Gabba music could be heard in the background as everyone mingled, ate some treats, wore festive party hats, stuck their heads in character cardboard cut-outs and watched the kids do their thing.

I spent most of the party taking in my girl. I watched her roam from ball pit, to trampoline, to playset then from Nana, to Fafa, to Kaka. She was independent, fiery, and full of life. She was her usual self, so sure, so determined, so happy. And, I couldn't help but think back to the moment I held my girl in my arms for the first time softly humming "Love me Tender!"

As she blew out the two little candles on top of the cake that was almost as tall as her, I held back tears of bittersweetness. My girl isn't a baby anymore! She has grown so much in two short years. Even though she still maintains an intense love for her thumb & belly, her favorite place is straddling my hip, and her daintly petite physical appearance make most think she is younger then she really girl is BIG!

BIG in personality! BIG in heart! BIG in attitude! BIG in uniqueness! BIG in special!

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All photos in this post were taken by my talented friend Molly Marie Williams! She is very talented photographer who has graciously captured so many important memories in life! We love you friend! Thanks for your talent & your friendship!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Two...that magical number!

My Dearest Sweat Pea,

Two!! It’s a magical number to me for some reason. I know so many people say that the first birthday is the most important, that is marks some significant milestone in life, but for me it is the 2nd birthday that makes me hold back the tears of bittersweetness.

And, that is exactly what I did as I sang Happy Birthday to you my darling Presley this past weekend. As the words were coming out of my mouth, and my hand was tightly gripped by yours, I looked around the lovingly filled room with so many of our dearest family and friends all sardined in and realized that we made, you made it, and most importantly, I made it.

The party, the day, the moment that I had been working so hard towards since you turned one, was absolutely PERFECT. The room popped with vibrant colors as Yo Gabba Gabba music could be heard in the background. Your spirit was in full Presley swing as you roamed between ball pit, play set, trampoline, and your Nani. Your independence and charisma were more then obvious as I watched you soak up everyone who came to celebrate you.

The enormous cake, the detailed decorations, the cardboard character cutouts were all fun and amazing, but truthfully unnecessary. You see, the only thing required for this party was YOU. The only thing that completed the party was YOU!

And, now that I sit here with tears brimming my eyes it has becoming crystal clear what I have been battling to overcome all year, what I have been searching to find since the moment I lost it, what I have been so blind to see until this moment. And…that’s YOU my little love!

You are my missing puzzle piece!

Sure, there is no denying that you were once a twin, that my pain from loss and longing will burn from time to time, or that one day you might feel it too. But, today, right now, at this very second the intense burning of pain, the red colored anger, and the fluttering feelings of fear that I have been carrying around with me for so long have been released, just like the balloon that accidentally got away at your party.

For today, for right now, at this very second I no longer look past you and think about what is missing,, rather I look right into your eyes and know that YOU complete me! You complete US! And, because of that…

My Heart is Whole Again!

Love You My Darling Presley More then Words can Say!



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