5 Years Time..Happy 5th Birthday Giulietta!

At this very moment five years ago I was lying in a hospital bed anxiously awaiting the birth of my first born. I was a nervous nelly not really knowing what to expect, how to act, or what I was getting myself into. I was 24, young, educated, and determined to be the best Momma to my unborn child. After almost 24 hours of labor, I held my 9 lb, 2 oz girl for the first time. She was all mine, and it was so hard to believe that the hubster and I could create such a miracle. 

I remember those first few days holding my girl like they were yesterday. I spent hours sitting on the couch looking at my baby in utter disbelief. She was real, she was here, and she was mine to raise without any formal classes or credentials required. We learned as we went with her teaching me the biggest and toughest lessons.

Over the past 5 years, Giulietta has taught me so much about being a mother, an educator, and a good person in general. She has allowed me to experience so many firsts for the first time right along with her, challenged my patience and heart time and time again, and allowed me to see the world through a child's eyes. My girl has granted me the best gift anyone could give; unconditional love. From the moment our eyes locked the first time 5 years ago, to the kiss I gave her before she went to bed tonight I know in my heart that my love for her is limitless. 

My Giulietta is beautiful inside and out. Her smile and eyes shine brighter then most with warmth and understanding. She is serious, thoughtful, and observant. Her heart spills over with love, sincerity, and care with all things she encounters. My little lady is intelligent, funny, mesmerizing to look at, and quite simply perfect. I feel blessed to call her my first born, to see her smile every morning, and to hear her call my Mommy.

Happy 5th Birthday GEM! 

I LOVE YOU!

Cutting Off a Piece of Toddlerhood

I'm really not sure what it is about hair, and the cutting of it that gets me all emotional. It grows and grows and grows more, all it takes is time. However, for me, the cutting on ones hair is some sort of milestone, or life changer. And, perhaps I feel this way considering that I've only drastically changed my hairstyle once as a grown up! 

With that being said, you can only imagine how hard it was for me to take Giulietta to the hair salon to get her lovely long locks snipped. Clearly my sweet girl has been overdue for a haircut for sometime, but I just couldn't get myself to make her an appointment and actually drive her there. But, with her Elementary school career starting and the transition of her no longer being a toddler, but now a child, I decided with A LOT of persuading from my Mom and Giulietta that is was time. It was amazing to me to see what a transformation was made that afternoon. My sweet girl walked into Kiddy Kastle with the little glimpses of toddlerhood in her spirit and long hair, and walked out the front door of the salon thirty minutes later with shorter hair and the charisma of a grown child ready to take on her future! 

And, let the hair go is exactly what we did. We measured it, bagged it up, and mailed it off to someone in need of my little ladies beautiful strands. 

A Prince is Born...Holden Enzo Morad

It is hard to believe that it was just 9 months ago when I found out I was pregnant with my sweet boy, and now I'm holding him in my arms gazing at his wrinkled little forehead. In fact, my whole pregnancy seems like it passed with a blink of an eye, except for those tiresome and tedious last weeks that drudged on and on with no end in sight! After A LOT of waiting, squatting, walking, and numerous other activities and happenings, my doctor finally decided to induce me a week early.

We arrived at the hospital for a planned induction at 5:30 am, and after having my water break on its own and the nurses not believing me, me being yo-yoed on & off pitocin until my body finally just said "screw it, we are doing this", my doctor having to run out of the room twice for two emergencies, my epidural only taking effect on half my body, and the nurses almost having to do the delivery...

Holden Enzo Morad was born!  He arrived at 9:42 AM on July 31, 2013 weighing 8 pounds & 1 ounce, and measuring 21.5 inches long!

They threw my Baby Boy on my chest, and my heart immediately fell deeper in LOVE for my sweet little man!

Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

I'm sitting here at my sewing table, my arms are wrapped tightly around my third baby, I'm listening to Taylor Swifts song "Never Grow Up," and tears are streaming down my cheeks. It's not the song, or her voice, or necessarily the words that have moved me tonight. Instead, it's the fact that my first born is growing up, well hell lets be honest here, all three of my littles are growing up. But, it seems that Giulietta is growing up the fastest. And, maybe it's because she is my first born, or the fact that she is too tall and smart for her age, or perhaps because she is the one who does all the "firsts" first. Regardless of what it is, time ultimately feels like it is slipping right through my fat fingers just like sand, and the baby girl that I held so tightly in my arms not that long ago has turned into a "big girl" in just a blink of an eye. 

Throughout the last 4 years & 10 months there have been numerous milestones that have provided moments of bittersweet growing. For example, the first time she smiled, or when she took her first steps, or when her first word came across her pink little lips. And her growth was seen even more so when she started preschool, learned how to write her name, and when she welcomed both her younger sister & brother into our home.  But, all these events are nothing compared to what we will all experience & witness tomorrow. You see, tomorrow my sweet GEM starts Kindergarten. 

As an educator, I've been looking forward to this moment for a long time, well really since she was born. I've dreamed about what it would be like to drop her off at school, pick her up, and hear all about what she learned. I've thought about how fun it would be to work in her classroom, and possibly be a room mom. However, at this very moment, I just want to turn back time and hold my little baby in my arms again.  I want a few more years, days, even hours of her not quite school age innocence back. That may be unfair of me to say, or ask, but my heart is breaking while it smiles, and to be quite honest it's really uncomfortable and quite hard to do. 

I'm a wreck. Hell, I left a basket full of stuff at Target today, because I was so overwhelmed with emotions while back to school shopping, and I couldn't keep it together. I am worried about crazy mom like things such as whether or not she will be able to open all the baggies and wrappers that her lunch is in, or if she will be sitting by herself on the playground since her BFF's aren't attending her new school. The minute anyone mentions Kindergarten, or my mind thinks about the moment I will kiss my little lady goodbye and walk out to my car tomorrow, tears well in my eyes and I can't stop them from coming. And, as the lump in my throat, that I've been holding back for months, tries harder and harder to make itself known, I smile bigger and bigger when Giulietta is around. I may have a bit of anxiety about my baby girls growing up and moving on, but I certainly don't want to project that on her. So, tonight when she told me she was nervous about "Big Girl" school tomorrow, I simply smiled and told her she would do great!  I know my baby girl is ready, as much as my heart may not be. And, as nervous and anxious as I am about her transition and growth from Preschool to "Big Girl" school, I'm really excited for my daughter too. 

Giulietta's school supplies are all nestled in a bag by the door, her teachers gifts are done & ready to be handed off, her lunch is packed and waiting in the fridge, her backpack is filled with two new Tiger folders that she meticulously picked out today at Target, her new dress I made her for her first day of Kindergarten is hanging next to her bed, her "tinkle toes" tennies that Nana bought her a week or so ago are lying on the floor ready to be filled with running feet, and her special pancake breakfast muffin mix is sitting in the fridge all ready to be cooked and eaten tomorrow morning. Tomorrow will be a busy and exciting day full of newness, growth, and learning. And, I can't wait to see my sweet Giulietta stretch her wings and soar to great heights throughout this next year in Kindergarten. 

Giulietta's First Birthday

October 2009

Photo courtesy of my talented friend Molly Marie Williams