Three Before Thirty

I have goals! I know that sounds weird to say, because most people have goals right? But..I'm talking about real life goals. Ones that I have scrutinized, planned, set up expectations for. Ones that are non negotiable, no matter where life takes me. And, "three before thirty" has been one of my most predominant life goals. The goal that I've talked about, stressed, and planned for (well sorta, haha)!

Without further ado...

The Morad Four are thrilled to announce the addition of our Third Baby coming Summer 2013!



And...I'm in LOVE with the fact that all 3 of these kidlets are mine!

Her First Day of the Rest of Her Life

There are moments in my one wild and crazy life that make me realize everything is moving way too fast, that make me pull out the camera and snap 500 photos because I know this is "the moment," and that make my eyes brim with tears at how bittersweet it all seems!

Last Tuesday was one of those days! My little Presley started Preschool!

We'd been preparing! Driving by and waving, talking about how much fun she would have, and what she would be doing. We even spent a few hours in her new classroom getting acclimated with her new environment. A new Yo Gabba Gabba lunch tote was made, the perfect outfit was picked out, and excitement was in the air.

But, I couldn't help but feel sad. And, when I say sad, I really mean SAD! My heart HURT! I know I've done this before, and for most this probably doesn't make sense that I would feel this way. Trust me, watching Giulietta walk away her first day of preschool was no walk in the park, but my girls are different. And, even though Giulietta was 6 months younger then Presley on her first day, Giulietta just seemed so much more confident, independent, and sure! Giulietta came out of my body that way, and she probably will always carry those characteristics with her, which somehow makes the firsts so much easier!

My girl...my buddy...my little koala...my feisty character is different!

We snapped these shots on the porch, loaded the car and headed to school. I tried my hardest to show excitement and hold it together, but I was truly a mess. The hubster held my hand tight on the drive there and assured me our girl would do wonderful. I thought in my head, "Ya, I know she'll do great, I expect nothing less from our girls! But, will she miss me? Will she cry? Will she be happy? Will she need me?"

The car was parked, girls unloaded, a few more shots taken, Giulietta dropped off at her classroom and the short walk to the door that Presley would open to the first day of the rest of her life was taken. I hurried her in, held onto her tightly with tears streaming down my checks, and told her I loved her, to have a great day and that I would be back in a short while. I waved at the teacher, and SPLIT! With a heavy heart, eyes full of tears, and the strong desire to run back and snatch my baby back into my arms I walked to the car.

The hubster & I sat there FREE! We should be dancing, throwing a party, enjoying our time, right?

Nope! I was heartbroken! I couldn't talk about anything else but my girl! I wanted to know how she was doing right that minute! The drive home was torture, and to be quite frank, the entire first hour of uncertainty felt like each minute took forever to tick by. But, finally I received a text & picture of my girl by the awesome director of her preschool. She was sitting, she was smiling, and she didn't need me after all! I smiled, my heart swelled, and I knew the first day of the rest of her life was perfect!



Tears were never shed on Presley's first day.
There were some on her second.
On her third day, she threw her lunch in the bucket, knocked on her classroom door, gave me a kiss and walked in her classroom like she owned the place without even looking back.

It's bittersweet! You know, your children growing! It happens daily, but it's not until moments like these when you realize that its only been a mere blink of an eye and they have transformed into the little people they are, the little people that you have dreamt of them becoming!

I found this quote today, and it seems to sum this growing thing all up for me!

“Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them - a mother's approval, a father's nod - are covered by moments of their own accomplishments. It is not until much later, as the skin sags and the heart weakens, that children understand; their stories, and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the waters of their lives.” -Mitch Albom

What does it say to you? 

Turning Two is BIG!!

Two...such a small number, but such a meaningful one for this little lady!

We celebrated Presley Ella turning two on a sunny California Winter day. Many of our friends & family joined the occasion to show their love for one very special girl. Yo Gabba Gabba music could be heard in the background as everyone mingled, ate some treats, wore festive party hats, stuck their heads in character cardboard cut-outs and watched the kids do their thing.

I spent most of the party taking in my girl. I watched her roam from ball pit, to trampoline, to playset then from Nana, to Fafa, to Kaka. She was independent, fiery, and full of life. She was her usual self, so sure, so determined, so happy. And, I couldn't help but think back to the moment I held my girl in my arms for the first time softly humming "Love me Tender!"

As she blew out the two little candles on top of the cake that was almost as tall as her, I held back tears of bittersweetness. My girl isn't a baby anymore! She has grown so much in two short years. Even though she still maintains an intense love for her thumb & belly, her favorite place is straddling my hip, and her daintly petite physical appearance make most think she is younger then she really is...my girl is BIG!

BIG in personality! BIG in heart! BIG in attitude! BIG in uniqueness! BIG in special!



















All photos in this post were taken by my talented friend Molly Marie Williams! She is very talented photographer who has graciously captured so many important memories in life! We love you friend! Thanks for your talent & your friendship!

Two...that magical number!

My Dearest Sweat Pea,

Two!! It’s a magical number to me for some reason. I know so many people say that the first birthday is the most important, that is marks some significant milestone in life, but for me it is the 2^nd birthday that makes me hold back the tears of bittersweetness.

And, that is exactly what I did as I sang Happy Birthday to you my darling Presley this past weekend. As the words were coming out of my mouth, and my hand was tightly gripped by yours, I looked around the lovingly filled room with so many of our dearest family and friends all sardined in and realized that we made, you made it, and most importantly, I made it.

The party, the day, the moment that I had been working so hard towards since you turned one, was absolutely PERFECT. The room popped with vibrant colors as Yo Gabba Gabba music could be heard in the background. Your spirit was in full Presley swing as you roamed between ball pit, play set, trampoline, and your Nani. Your independence and charisma were more then obvious as I watched you soak up everyone who came to celebrate you.

The enormous cake, the detailed decorations, the cardboard character cutouts were all fun and amazing, but truthfully unnecessary. You see, the only thing required for this party was YOU. The only thing that completed the party was YOU!

And, now that I sit here with tears brimming my eyes it has becoming crystal clear what I have been battling to overcome all year, what I have been searching to find since the moment I lost it, what I have been so blind to see until this moment. And…that’s YOU my little love!

You are my missing puzzle piece!

Sure, there is no denying that you were once a twin, that my pain from loss and longing will burn from time to time, or that one day you might feel it too. But, today, right now, at this very second the intense burning of pain, the red colored anger, and the fluttering feelings of fear that I have been carrying around with me for so long have been released, just like the balloon that accidentally got away at your party.

For today, for right now, at this very second I no longer look past you and think about what is missing,, rather I look right into your eyes and know that YOU complete me! You complete US! And, because of that…

My Heart is Whole Again!

Love You My Darling Presley More then Words can Say!

Momma