Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

I'm sitting here at my sewing table, my arms are wrapped tightly around my third baby, I'm listening to Taylor Swifts song "Never Grow Up," and tears are streaming down my cheeks. It's not the song, or her voice, or necessarily the words that have moved me tonight. Instead, it's the fact that my first born is growing up, well hell lets be honest here, all three of my littles are growing up. But, it seems that Giulietta is growing up the fastest. And, maybe it's because she is my first born, or the fact that she is too tall and smart for her age, or perhaps because she is the one who does all the "firsts" first. Regardless of what it is, time ultimately feels like it is slipping right through my fat fingers just like sand, and the baby girl that I held so tightly in my arms not that long ago has turned into a "big girl" in just a blink of an eye. 

Throughout the last 4 years & 10 months there have been numerous milestones that have provided moments of bittersweet growing. For example, the first time she smiled, or when she took her first steps, or when her first word came across her pink little lips. And her growth was seen even more so when she started preschool, learned how to write her name, and when she welcomed both her younger sister & brother into our home.  But, all these events are nothing compared to what we will all experience & witness tomorrow. You see, tomorrow my sweet GEM starts Kindergarten. 

As an educator, I've been looking forward to this moment for a long time, well really since she was born. I've dreamed about what it would be like to drop her off at school, pick her up, and hear all about what she learned. I've thought about how fun it would be to work in her classroom, and possibly be a room mom. However, at this very moment, I just want to turn back time and hold my little baby in my arms again.  I want a few more years, days, even hours of her not quite school age innocence back. That may be unfair of me to say, or ask, but my heart is breaking while it smiles, and to be quite honest it's really uncomfortable and quite hard to do. 

I'm a wreck. Hell, I left a basket full of stuff at Target today, because I was so overwhelmed with emotions while back to school shopping, and I couldn't keep it together. I am worried about crazy mom like things such as whether or not she will be able to open all the baggies and wrappers that her lunch is in, or if she will be sitting by herself on the playground since her BFF's aren't attending her new school. The minute anyone mentions Kindergarten, or my mind thinks about the moment I will kiss my little lady goodbye and walk out to my car tomorrow, tears well in my eyes and I can't stop them from coming. And, as the lump in my throat, that I've been holding back for months, tries harder and harder to make itself known, I smile bigger and bigger when Giulietta is around. I may have a bit of anxiety about my baby girls growing up and moving on, but I certainly don't want to project that on her. So, tonight when she told me she was nervous about "Big Girl" school tomorrow, I simply smiled and told her she would do great!  I know my baby girl is ready, as much as my heart may not be. And, as nervous and anxious as I am about her transition and growth from Preschool to "Big Girl" school, I'm really excited for my daughter too. 

Giulietta's school supplies are all nestled in a bag by the door, her teachers gifts are done & ready to be handed off, her lunch is packed and waiting in the fridge, her backpack is filled with two new Tiger folders that she meticulously picked out today at Target, her new dress I made her for her first day of Kindergarten is hanging next to her bed, her "tinkle toes" tennies that Nana bought her a week or so ago are lying on the floor ready to be filled with running feet, and her special pancake breakfast muffin mix is sitting in the fridge all ready to be cooked and eaten tomorrow morning. Tomorrow will be a busy and exciting day full of newness, growth, and learning. And, I can't wait to see my sweet Giulietta stretch her wings and soar to great heights throughout this next year in Kindergarten. 

Giulietta's First Birthday

October 2009

Photo courtesy of my talented friend Molly Marie Williams

And then there were three...

With so many emotions running wild inside of my head, heart, and soul I find myself wanting to and really needing to write for days on end. However, I just can't seem to find the time to sit and tap each key on the keyboard to spell out exactly what I'm feeling inside. I know the time will come, and the words will hopefully still be there.

Until then, I want to share this priceless picture of my three littles snuggling only hours after Holden was born three weeks ago. Three weeks..shesh it feels like just yesterday! As i scrolled upon this picture earlier today, I just stopped and looked at it in awe. It takes my breathe away when I think that Ryan and I created these three little beauties of pure perfection! We are truly blessed, and I'm feeling it!



Giulietta Elizabeth...4 years, 10 months
Presley Ella...2 years, 8 months
Holden Enzo...6 hours

Holden Enzo Morad....What's in a Name?

How do you know what to name a baby without ever meeting them? Well, if you are anything like me, you make lists, you cross off names, re-write them, and then cross them off again. Next, you text the hubster name after name after name every night until he finally agrees upon one that you like too. And, then you start using it when referring to the baby in order to feel it out, hear how it rolls off the tip of your tongue, and make sure it is THE NAME!
And, of course since all of our littles names are unique and packed full of meaning this was a daunting task finding the perfect name for our boy! So, why Holden Enzo you ask? 
Well, considering that we were having a BOY, it was important to us to give him a uncommon name, automotive in nature, that sounded strong. After a ton of research, lists full of lots of names, and a bunch of discussing with the hubster we finally agreed upon Holden Enzo.
Holden is an automotive manufacturer in Australia, as well as the name of the main character in J. D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye."
and,
Enzo is the first name of the founder for Ferrari, and seeing how Holden was called "Ferrari Corvette" throughout my entire pregnancy, it was only fitting that his middle name be Enzo.
Amazingly so, the minute the doctor placed my sweet boy on my chest, and I said his name out loud to him for the first time,  I knew that it was perfectly fitting for our little man!

Holden's Garage...A Vintage Nursery

I'll never forget the excitement sprawled across the Hubster's face when the ultrasound tech told us she was 99% positive our Baby #3 was a Boy! The hubster was giddy with emotion, the wheels inside of him were turning, and I knew that great plans for a boys nursery were being made at that very moment.

You see, we go a bit overboard when it comes to our little's nursery's and bedrooms! We theme it up, decorate with style and perfection, and create a welcoming space for our newest addition or growing kidlet. For Giulietta's Nursery I had to have the pinkest Winnie the Pooh nursery around. I searched high & low for the perfect bedding that fit my style, and Ryan appeased me every step of the way with pink, pink, and more pink. For Presley's welcoming space we went with the Jungle Room theme. I really wanted different types of animal prints like the true Elvis Jungle Room, however Ryan wanted something a little more kid like, so we agreed upon a cartoonish girlish jungle room theme with the brightest Orange & Purple Walls we could tolerate. And, interestingly enough, both rooms totally fit my little ladies personalities to the tee.

When their rooms were done, I remember sitting in the glider looking around, loving their space, never wanting to leave that chair or moment, and yearning to hold them in my arms at that very second. And, when we finally arrived home from the hospital, it felt so special to bring them into their nursery for the first time and lay them in their cribs. With them home safe, the nursery finally felt complete and perfect.

So, even though Ryan had enjoyed creating the spaces for both our girls, I knew that the feelings and emotions I got from all the pink, foo-foo, and frillies were not the same as his. I knew that finally he too would get that same feeling of overwhelmingly excitement when sitting in his son's completed nursery no matter what theme we chose. And, he did!  On one late night when Holden's Garage was almost complete, my sweet husband turned to me and said, "I wish I could sleep in here!" At that very moment, my heart smiled for him.

Without further ado, let me introduce Holden's Garage!




Holden's Nursery is Vintage Garage Themed. Everything in it screams cars, boys, garages, tools, and vintage! Three of the walls in Holden's Garage are dark gray on bottom and light gray on top with a red strip running around the middle, while the fourth is covered by a corrugated steel. Attached to the steel are two "shop" looking lights, which we were lucky to pick up at Lowe's with all the rest of the room essentials. Ryan painted the white dresser and changing table red, added Snap-On Emblems and handles, and working Castor Wheels to the bottom of each in order to transform them into a matching tool box and tool cart set. The crib and glider that were once white got a new black finish in order to fit into the garage theme, and the diaper genie got a fresh red coat and a Sinclair Logo to make it look like a rag can.



I sewed up the red bumpers using broadcloth and the Baby Bumper Pads from Nu-Foam, made a matching sheet and changing pad cover out of car fabric I picked up at Joann's, and covered the padding on the glider with the same red broadcloth that I used for the bumpers! We purchased "new" vintage signs to decorate the walls of the room from Hobby Lobby of all places. Of course, actual vintage signs were of preference, but boy are those suckers expensive and WAY out of our budget.



Ryan installed the baby monitor way up on the ceiling in order to be able to see the entire crib, he hung VW hub caps that he found in our garage, and made the VW service sign. We went antiquing and picked up some vintage oil cans and a 76 gas can to set on the top of his dresser.




And, of course Holden's Garage would not have been complete without his very own Vintage Gas Pump. The Daddy-O searched high & low for the best deal around, and he found it in a sweet old mans garage. As much hassle as I gave the hubster for this BIG purchase, it truly was the perfect addition to Holden's Garage, and a new family heirloom that will hopefully be passed down from one Morad man to another.



All in all, Holden's Garage is the perfect representation of a Garage inside a house. Ryan was so concerned that it wasn't "baby" enough, but I think it fitting for both my boys, and it makes me smile each time I walk into the room!