Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What REALLY Matters to this Mama

Life as I knew it changed drastically, but for the BEST when 
Giulietta was born on 10/09/08. For the first time in my life, 
it wasn't ALWAYS about ME. I no longer always got what
I wanted, no matter how hard I pushed for it, screamed for it, 
or cried for it. I was forced to essentially "grow up" and put
someone else before me, which wasn't necessarily hard, just
different. Although it only took seconds for me to Fall in Love
with my sweet daughter, it took me months to find a groove, 
to acquire the knack of being a Mom, learning the tricks of the 
trade in raising a child, and finding a balance in my new role.

However, it is true what they say...children, especially mine,
grow like weeds! And, as fast as they grow, is as fast as life
changes. As Giulietta reached each milestone through her first
two years, I changed as a mother in order to quickly adapt to her 
new "stage." It wasn't always easy, but being a mother is the
hardest and most rewarding job on this planet. 

When I thought that I had everything about motherhood 
figured out, life changed again, for what felt like the BEST
for the second time in my life, when Presley was born on 
12/16/10. Once again, the last six months have brought on
a lot of adapting to new schedules, and finding a balance. Seeing
how I have become the "stay at home Mom" I swore I never would
be, I have found myself enjoying each precious moment with my
girls. Watching them both learn and grow, wanting my help but also
stretching for their own independence, laughing and crying, and simply
being innocent young girls making their path in this road we call life is
what my days are now filled with. 

After months, okay maybe years, of fighting the fight inside me to still be that 
20 something girl free to do as she pleases, I lost. Well...actually I won. Because,
today I realized that a solid eight hours of sleep, planned lunches with friends, and
the endless list of chores to be done, are just not important when it comes to my
daughters. I made a conscious choice today, like I probably do everyday, to 
be with the girls and do for them instead of myself. Some of you are probably sitting
 back and saying "So, what? That's what parenthood is about?" Well, from what
 I have observed, it isn't that way to all parents. I want my girls to read
this post someday, and understand that I chose them! And, I will always choose them!
Because, after all...they are what really matter to this Mama! 

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