This post is almost a week over due, but right here and right now I am finally sitting down and taking the time to write it. Nothing will stop me, well maybe a hungry and tired baby boy, or one of my sleeping beauties who needs an extra hug will. But, the words of our life will be shared...eventually.
Lately, I have found that I'm too absent in my littles lives! I know this comes as a shock to all that are reading it, because I'm the least absent person you know. I'm the one that everyone can get a hold of with a simple call, text, email, or Facebook message! I'm the one that people come to when they have a quick question or real life changing one! I'm the one that is always out, about, and making memories for my children. I'm the one that so many have told me they aspire to be! But, hold tight, don't give my that award yet. Don't put me up on that high of a pedestal! Sometimes I'm not that Momma! And, sadly it seems that lately the sometimes has turned into too much of the time!
You see, because of all the hats I wear, all the relationships I work hard at maintaining, all the crafting I enjoy doing, and all the social media that I relish in, my children loose something.
my undivided attention
my ability to just listen
my desire to play
my reaction in the moment not after
my mind free and clear
And, that's not really me, or rather the me I want to be!
So, last Wednesday we took a Mental Health Day! I pulled both girls out of school, packed everything I would need for an entire day, and headed to The Happiest Place on Earth! The choice to have the girls skip school, had me up half the night thinking about whether or not I was making the "right" decision for them, and I even made Ryan call Giulietta in "sick" to school because I didn't want to have to say the words out loud.
The day was spent thinking about NOTHING but my three. I didn't answer one call or text. I didn't check Instagram or Facebook or Email.
I gave my three ME!
I felt the magic.
I had FUN.
And, you know what? I never felt stressed, overwhelmed, or short fused. I never raised my voice, or became grouchy; I never needed to. And, when I tucked each one of them into bed that night I silently said "thank you" to them as they closed their eyes and fell asleep the instant their tiny heads hit their comfy pillows. I thanked them for giving me life, for understanding that this Momma isn't always perfect, for allowing me the day to be reminded of what being their Momma is all about, and for unconditionally loving me for being ME.
Now I'm left reflecting and really wishing that everyday could be a Mental Health Day! That everyday I could essentially "unplug" from life as I know it and wrap myself around my three little loves pinkies. Sadly, I can't! I have to parent, I have to wife, I have to craft, I have to work, I have to be on the go making memories, I have to document our life, I have to answer texts, calls, and emails, and I have to be the dependable one for all around me. What I learned I don't have to be, is consumed by it. I don't have to put those things before my children. I don't have to make those things Me. I have to create a boundary, make mental notes about what feels right for me and us, and continue down this one wild and crazy life that I have the pleasure of living!