There are moments in my one wild and crazy life that make me realize everything is moving way too fast, that make me pull out the camera and snap 500 photos because I know this is "the moment," and that make my eyes brim with tears at how bittersweet it all seems!
Last Tuesday was one of those days! My little Presley started Preschool!
We'd been preparing! Driving by and waving, talking about how much fun she would have, and what she would be doing. We even spent a few hours in her new classroom getting acclimated with her new environment. A new Yo Gabba Gabba lunch tote was made, the perfect outfit was picked out, and excitement was in the air.
But, I couldn't help but feel sad. And, when I say sad, I really mean SAD! My heart HURT! I know I've done this before, and for most this probably doesn't make sense that I would feel this way. Trust me, watching Giulietta walk away her first day of preschool was no walk in the park, but my girls are different. And, even though Giulietta was 6 months younger then Presley on her first day, Giulietta just seemed so much more confident, independent, and sure! Giulietta came out of my body that way, and she probably will always carry those characteristics with her, which somehow makes the firsts so much easier!
My girl...my buddy...my little koala...my feisty character is different!
We snapped these shots on the porch, loaded the car and headed to school. I tried my hardest to show excitement and hold it together, but I was truly a mess. The hubster held my hand tight on the drive there and assured me our girl would do wonderful. I thought in my head, "Ya, I know she'll do great, I expect nothing less from our girls! But, will she miss me? Will she cry? Will she be happy? Will she need me?"
The car was parked, girls unloaded, a few more shots taken, Giulietta dropped off at her classroom and the short walk to the door that Presley would open to the first day of the rest of her life was taken. I hurried her in, held onto her tightly with tears streaming down my checks, and told her I loved her, to have a great day and that I would be back in a short while. I waved at the teacher, and SPLIT! With a heavy heart, eyes full of tears, and the strong desire to run back and snatch my baby back into my arms I walked to the car.
The hubster & I sat there FREE! We should be dancing, throwing a party, enjoying our time, right?
Nope! I was heartbroken! I couldn't talk about anything else but my girl! I wanted to know how she was doing right that minute! The drive home was torture, and to be quite frank, the entire first hour of uncertainty felt like each minute took forever to tick by. But, finally I received a text & picture of my girl by the awesome director of her preschool. She was sitting, she was smiling, and she didn't need me after all! I smiled, my heart swelled, and I knew the first day of the rest of her life was perfect!
Tears were never shed on Presley's first day.
There were some on her second.
On her third day, she threw her lunch in the bucket, knocked on her classroom door, gave me a kiss and walked in her classroom like she owned the place without even looking back.
It's bittersweet! You know, your children growing! It happens daily, but it's not until moments like these when you realize that its only been a mere blink of an eye and they have transformed into the little people they are, the little people that you have dreamt of them becoming!
I found this quote today, and it seems to sum this growing thing all up for me!
“Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them - a mother's approval, a father's nod - are covered by moments of their own accomplishments. It is not until much later, as the skin sags and the heart weakens, that children understand; their stories, and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the waters of their lives.” -Mitch Albom
What does it say to you?