Today's my Birthday! My 30th Birthday to be exact. I know it sounds selfish to say that I'm a bit peeved that I had to share MY day this year with Jesus and the Easter Bunny, but I'm not going to lie. Sharing this year was a little more difficult then every other year when my birthday has fallen on Hitler's Birthday, the anniversary of Columbine, and 420! I suppose this is how my kids must feel when friends come over and they have to unwillingly share their favorite toys with our guests. And seeing how they have learned to do it with ease, I guess I should to because the Hubster has reassured me that this won't be the LAST time that my birthday will be celebrated on Easter!
Regardless of the day, my Birthday this year was Great! I have been celebrated the past few weeks by my friends and family over several different occasions focused around making me feel special and loved as I approached my 30th year. It started with a surprise trip with just the Hubster and I to Solvang, followed by dinner & "The Book of Mormon," a lovely ladies night out at Maggiano's, a special family/friend pizza & ice cream bar put on by my parents, and today which was a hodge podge of Easter/Birthday celebrations! Everyone that knows me, really knows me, totally gets the fact that I LOVE to be celebrated, made the center of attention for a few hours or days, and infused with the feelings of being special and loved by those that mean the most to me. And, this year, all those around me have really done good, well spectacular actually! So, thank you!
As I sit here and think about being 30, and what that means to me, so much is buzzing around in my brain. I suppose I should start with saying Goodbye to my 20's. For so many the 20's is a time to sew their wild oats, explore the world around them, find their "true" self, and then make a conscious effort to be a "grown-up." I have never been "typical" when it comes to this growing up stuff. I've always been a little too mature for my peer group, a little too serious about life, a little more interested in finding who I was earlier rather then later and then acting upon it! So, like my usual self, I grabbed life by the horns and kept on riding the path of my 20's at a pace that even I found a little too fast at times!
My 20's were filled with many milestones reached, many i's dotted and t's crossed, and many bucket list items crossed off! I graduated from college twice, got married to my best friend, had three beautiful children, bought a house (sorta), started a career (teaching) then put it on a hold for another (motherhood), learned how therapeutic and necessary therapy or simply talking to someone can actually be, traveled to several countries and across the US, bought my first & only brand new car that to this day makes me feel more alive then anything else, found my voice in writing and documenting my families lives, became a social media addict, learned how to be a really good friend, found a passion in sewing, crafting, and photography, and smiled, laughed and loved until my heart couldn't see straight!
As lovely as my 20's were, there was a lot of learning, growing and hard work that took place. A lot of finding who I was and who I wanted to be that took some serious soul searching! I lost...some friends (or who I thought were friends rather), tears, my only living grandparent and then 2 of my husbands, my unborn child, and myself at times. My 20's were marked by challenges that many don't face until they are older or never really, and they shook me to the core and made me question ME!
But, today I'm 30! It sounds so much older, wiser, and grown-up! Truth be told, I don't feel much different today then I felt yesterday! And, I certainly don't look much different, although today I did apply concealer on my gray bags under my eyes for the first time in my life! 30 is just a number! A number that tries to define who I am, and what I will accomplish this next decade. And, I guess that is one of the reasons why I've been a little nervous about turning 30. It's hard to really put into words why I feel this way, well actually it isn't, but those words are better left for a different post! Needless to say, my 20's provided so much newness, so much accomplishment, and so many life achieving goals that I feel that my 30's will just be a cruise-control, auto-pilot decade that I nestle into. Seeing how I'm not much of a nestler, this notion leaves me feeling antsy and troubled!
Well..Hello there 30! I'm Katie Morad, nice to meet you! You make me more determined then ever to contradict these feelings about you that I have, and make you a time of adventure, a time of really digging deep within myself and becoming that woman (wife, mother, daughter, sister, & friend) that I am working hard to be, a time that I will look back on and have some of my fondest memories of! I am aware that you might present some hurdles that I won't necessarily enjoy jumping over, some lessons that I might be resistant to learn, and some heartache that will feel brutal. But...
I will leap
I will keep an open mind
I will listen
I will continue to stay determined
I will live in the moment
I will smile, cry, and dance
I will grow
I will love like I have never loved before
I will let it go (thank you Frozen for this little beauty)
And, I will belly laugh, because friends, it is necessary and feels so damn good at times!
(Me..4/20/2014..30 years old..photo courtesey of Marci Phee)