My Dearest Sweat Pea,
Two!! It’s a magical number to me for some reason. I know so many people say that the first birthday is the most important, that is marks some significant milestone in life, but for me it is the 2nd birthday that makes me hold back the tears of bittersweetness.
And, that is exactly what I did as I sang Happy Birthday to you my darling Presley this past weekend. As the words were coming out of my mouth, and my hand was tightly gripped by yours, I looked around the lovingly filled room with so many of our dearest family and friends all sardined in and realized that we made, you made it, and most importantly, I made it.
The party, the day, the moment that I had been working so hard towards since you turned one, was absolutely PERFECT. The room popped with vibrant colors as Yo Gabba Gabba music could be heard in the background. Your spirit was in full Presley swing as you roamed between ball pit, play set, trampoline, and your Nani. Your independence and charisma were more then obvious as I watched you soak up everyone who came to celebrate you.
The enormous cake, the detailed decorations, the cardboard character cutouts were all fun and amazing, but truthfully unnecessary. You see, the only thing required for this party was YOU. The only thing that completed the party was YOU!
And, now that I sit here with tears brimming my eyes it has becoming crystal clear what I have been battling to overcome all year, what I have been searching to find since the moment I lost it, what I have been so blind to see until this moment. And…that’s YOU my little love!
You are my missing puzzle piece!
Sure, there is no denying that you were once a twin, that my pain from loss and longing will burn from time to time, or that one day you might feel it too. But, today, right now, at this very second the intense burning of pain, the red colored anger, and the fluttering feelings of fear that I have been carrying around with me for so long have been released, just like the balloon that accidentally got away at your party.
For today, for right now, at this very second I no longer look past you and think about what is missing,, rather I look right into your eyes and know that YOU complete me! You complete US! And, because of that…
My Heart is Whole Again!
Love You My Darling Presley More then Words can Say!